Dear World

The Netherlands moving backwards: Dutch radio station becomes State Radio with at least 35% Holland songs. Getting closer to those parts of the world where nationalism rules and freedom of expression is always in a foreign language and culture is a governmental recipe.

We apologize in advance for some parts of this text, which will not be understandable to those who don’t master the Dutch language. We are compelled to write at least 35% in het Nederlands, due to a new law the great leaders of our country thought of to protect de Nederlandse cultuur.

De wijze regenten bezuinigen zwaar op cultuur.

Economizations on art, theatre, music, dance and the whole cultural sector severely hinder society’s development.

The government is aware of the dangers cutting on art-expenses. Therefore the regents thought it wise to boost Dutch artists in another way: give them the stage, exposure.

Today on June 30, 2011 a new law has been adopted: music broadcasting by Radio 2 will have to be at least 35% Dutch. Radio 2 is now State Radio promoting Dutch musicians, who sing in their mothers’ language. Undoubtedly the Wilhelmus, Dutch national hymn, will hit the charters soon. Luckily, every migrant coming to the country has to learn the text by heart, so we will be able to find mutual understanding.

The Rutte government turns out a genius. Thus hitting two birds with one stone: minimizing foreign influence and maximizing home baked sing-along’s in order for our fabulous Schlager singers to earn a living so they won’t be affected by the economization.

Shortly, no doubt, writers will have to write at least 35% in Dutch for libraries to lend their books. We are not sure whether translated literature will be allowed on the bookshelves or not. Paintings of Dutch landscapes and blond women shall prevail on museums’ walls. Films …. Dubbing? That will lead to mass demonstraties, attached as the Dutch are to Harry Potters’ own voice. Wonder how they’ll tackle that one?

To pass the censorship and meet the quota, we end in Nederlands: Apartheid is een Nederlands woord waar opnieuw invulling aan gegeven wordt ter bescherming van ons cultureel erfgoed. Wij zijn zo’n grootse natie, we hebben het buitenland niet nodig. Ook al is er tienduizend maal meer buitenland dan binnenland. We programmeren Hollands Glorie. We beschermen onze artiesten tegen zichzelf. Ze hebben geen subsidies nodig als ze gewoon zingen, schrijven, schilderen of dansen wat de overheid hen voorschrijft. Want de Grote mannen en vrouwen in Den Haag bieden hen een podium.

Zij zullen hoog staan in de Lage Landen!


De nieuwe hit van Niek Holland: En we zetten, En we zetten, 2 stapjes terug. Allemaal: 2 stappen terug!


June 30, 2011

Caro Sicking for/voor nonfiXe